


you don't belong here

by quitea



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: & bokuto is all sugar, Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Afterlife, Comedy, Explicit Language, M/M, Romance, the good place AU, where i try to write asshole!akaashi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2018-12-01 14:33:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11488368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quitea/pseuds/quitea
Summary: "There's been a big mistake. I'm not supposed to be here.""Huh?""I shouldn't be here, in 'The Good Place.'"[aka Akaashi dies and goes to heaven when he's actually supposed to be in hell.]





	1. frozen yogurt

**Author's Note:**

> i really like the show "the good place" and i was like, "haha, what if i wrote akaashi like eleanor, an asshole."
> 
> anyway, this was a spur of the moment idea and idek how to continue to write this.

Akaashi opens his eye’s slowly. He finds himself surrounded by warm, cream colored walls while sitting on a delightfully cushioned sofa. The wall across him in large, bold, blue print reads:

**Welcome! Everything is fine.**

It’s quite calming, a little reassuring too. His tense shoulders relax and he exhales a long breath he didn’t even realize he was holding.

A double door opens to his left. Akaashi looks over and he’s staring at a man with short brown hair that sweeps to one side. From where he’s sitting, he does not look that much taller than him, he assumes. He’s wearing a fine, pressed gray suit with a bow tie on his white button shirt. 

“Akaashi,” the brown hair man speaks up, a smile on his face, “come on in.”

Akaashi follows said man inside. He’s in an office, its color scheme is very similar in the other room, but there is a large, walnut-stained desk situated in the middle of the room. Behind the desk, there are some decorative statues atop a long bookshelf and right above there is a contemporary, abstract painting framed and hung. The man walks around to seat himself in the desk chair while Akaashi takes one of the visitor chairs facing the desk.

“Hello, Akaashi. I’m Oikawa Tooru!” His voice is much brighter than he expected. “How are you today?”

“Fine, thank you.” Akaashi answers.

“That’s good.”

“Although, I do have some questions,” Akaashi responded quickly. “Where am I? Who are you? And what’s going on.”

“Yes, right.” Oikawa sighs. “You, Akaashi Keiji, are dead. Your life on earth has ended and you are now in the next phase of your existence in the universe.”

Akaashi expression does not faze, he blinks once, twice, three times. “Cool.”

“I’m sure you must have more…”

“Yeah,” Akaashi says. “How did I die? I don’t remember it at all.”

“Yes, in certain cases for traumatic or embarrassing deaths, we erase the memory to allow a peaceful transition into the afterlife.” Oikawa gives Akaashi a thoughtful look. “Are you sure you want to hear it?”

He nods right away.

“Alright,” Oikawa opens up a manila folder that was sitting in front of him and takes a deep breath before speaking again. “You were at an old classmate’s apartment throwing a party at night.” Akaashi blinks. “Although you knew you had a low tolerance for alcohol, you caved in when someone offered to buy you a bucket of fried chicken, only if you chugged down one glass of whiskey, which you did do. Afterward, you were highly intoxicated that you went up the second floor and at the top of the stairs and told everyone how amazing you were at black flips even though you really didn’t know how.”

“So that’s how I died.” Akaashi ponders.

“Oh, no. I’m sorry, there’s more.” Akaashi whips his head up and gives Oikawa a tense stare. “Luckily, you didn’t backflip.” Akaashi relaxes. “But you did trip so you ended up falling all the way down the flight of stairs where at the bottom, you tried to pick yourself up, unsteadily, for at least ten minutes, to the stair railing, but you tripped again on a condom that fell out of your pocket and bashed your head hard onto the railing.”

Akaashi is stunned. The weary look in his eyes that have widened a fraction bigger listening to Oikawa unravel the circumstances about his death.

“But there’s more of course. You then-”

“Ok. I get it, I get it. No more.” Akaashi dismisses the rest of the speech. Just hearing parts of it is already giving him a chronic headache.

“Do you have any more questions?” Oikawa asks. 

“Yeah. I guess the biggest question is…” Akaashi asks, with an uncertain tone. “Am I in hell or…?”

“Well, you’re not in the heaven or hell idea you were raised to believe in,” Oikawa responds. “But generally speaking, in the afterlife, there is a good place and a bad place.” Oikawa smiles at Akaashi. “You’re in The Good Place.”

It doesn't show but Akaashi is relieved. He’s been in a constant state of confusion within just five minutes of sitting here in such an unfamiliar place.

“Let me show you around, Akaashi.”

When they step out of the office, Akaashi is thrown into the most colorfully vibrant, charmingly wholesome, and a physically picturesque world he’s ever seen. The shop fronts are the lightest shades of pastel, the flowers are fresh, luscious, and beautiful, and the sun shining above illuminates the little world that they are in a warm, golden, glowing paradise. This place is too perfect, Akaashi thinks.

“This is how it works here,” Oikawa explains while walking alongside Akaashi. “The good place is divided into distinct neighborhoods. Each one contains precisely 300 people that have been perfectly selected to live in a harmoniously cohesive balance.”

“Do all neighborhoods look like this?”

“No, all of them vary. Some are cities, some are farmlands, some are colder, but in each neighborhood, every detail right down to a single blade of grass, has been designed individually, specifically, exclusively calibrated for the residents here.”

Akaashi raises a brow when he further inspects the shops. “There’s a lot of frozen yogurt places.”

“Yeah. I don’t know what to tell you.” Oikawa stops in place. “No matter how uniquely designed these neighborhoods are, there’s always a demand for multiple yogurt shops in the blueprint.” He shrugs his shoulders, “People just love frozen yogurt.”

A voice calls out, a woman specifically, to Oikawa. Said man waves back to the woman and turns back to Akaashi.

“Seems I’m needed elsewhere,” said Oikawa. “You can go ahead and explore around the area. You know, get used to the environment you’ll be living in. I’ll let my assistant know right away you arrived so he could show you to your new home.” A wink and a cutesy wave, Oikawa prances over to one of the many yogurt places in this world.

Akaashi takes a short walk down, what he assumes is, the shopping district. The people around seemed nice. He can hear lots of conversations and the occasional laugh here and there. It was a rather refreshing, Akaashi thought. He wasn’t used to such a lively atmosphere but he guesses that since he’s in a place like heaven, this is the norm.

The path Akaashi takes eventually leads to a park. The field before him is wide and green. People are either playing on it or relaxing on a blanket basking in the sunlight. He spots a tiled pathway in the middle of the park and decides to take that route. The path is covered and lined with some tall trees that help provide shade for a more mild park experience. There are benches on the side of the pathway where some people are either taking a nap or reading a book. Akaashi walks down the path far enough to find an empty bench for himself and relax. He sits and leans his head back. The trees above him smelled so fresh and the leaves that fall every so often were a perfect forest green. 

Unbelievable, he thought. This world, this incredible world that he’s been in for no more than probably 15 minutes is too amazing, too pure, too ideal. The bench he’s sitting on, it’s a perfect fit for his own ass! How the hell did that happen?! Benches he usually sat on were hard, wobbly, and dirty. But this bench was snug, stable, and in pristine condition. His hand runs over the empty seat beside him. Smooth. If this were the bench he sat on at the park near his home when he was alive, he would have blisters and splinters and maybe pick up a disease because God knows when the last time it had been cleaned or replaced. Akaashi takes a breath in and a long exhale out. Yes, that is crisp, clean air. 

Akaashi had never imagined that life after death would be this marvelous. Thinking back to his life when he was alive, nothing he felt he did would amount to him living in paradise now. Akaashi wouldn’t be surprised at the next far-fetched thing this world has in store for him.

Akaashi lifts his head up and his eyes scan the area. When he looks up, his eye catches someone else’s. Currently, that person, a man, was riding on a bike and the moment Akaashi’s eyes lock with him, the man is startled. Out of reflex, the bike man's hand grips the handle hard without realizing it was still on the brake handle, causing his bike to stop abruptly and fall off his bike, face first.

Akaashi, shocked as his eyes widen for a split second before it’s back to normal, considers helping him. Minutes pass and the man is barely moving before him. Akaashi walks over anyway and kneels down next to him.

“Uh,” Akaashi hesitates. “Are you okay?”

Akaashi stares down his back and up to his hair. The color was a mix of light to dark gray with streaks of black at the roots. It was rare for him to see such a distinctive color yet that wasn’t what Akaashi was mesmerized by. His hair was incredibly spiky. He felt tempted to touch it, that if he didn’t do it now, he would never get the chance to do it ever again. He was still faced down so Akaashi reaches a hand over ever so carefully to a lock of spiky gray.

A tired groan escapes the man’s mouth right before Akaashi can feel his hair and retracts his hand immediately.

“Are you okay?” Akaashi asks again.

The man sluggishly turns himself over so he is on his back. His eyes are closed. He opens them slowly and see’s Akaashi leaning over him slightly.

“Oh, sorry.” Said the man. “I’m okay, just a little sore now.” The man tries getting up on his own, but Akaashi lends him an arm.

“I’ll help you.”

The man takes the offer and Akaashi can feel how tense he is from the way he’s gripping his arm. Once he’s up, Akaashi kneels down again and picks up his fallen bike.

“You should be more careful.”

“You’re right.” The man scratches the back of his head, a big smile graces his face. “Sorry to have bothered you like that, you even helped me up. I can’t thank you enough.”

Akaashi nods. Weird, wasn’t the reason he fell off was his fault? Well, if when he thinks about it harder, it’s more so the man’s fault anyway for not paying attention so there’s no reason for him to feel guilty. His guilt is gone in an instant and Akaashi wants to seek peace and quiet.

The man’s not saying anything so Akaashi thinks it’s his time to take his little escape. He bows slightly and walks around the man with ideas of what to do next on his self-tour. Maybe he’ll go get frozen yogurt. Who knows what kind of bizarre frozen yogurt they have in the afterlife.

“Wait!”

Akaashi turns around and stares back at the man. He just called out to him right?

“Me?”

“Yeah, uh. You.”

Akaashi notices his face. Cheeks flushed a deep pink and mouth agape. He looks like he was about to speak, but his mouth opens, closes, opens, and closes. He looks at a loss for words.

Reluctantly, Akaashi responds. “Did you need something?”

“Sorry! I’m being sort of weird, huh.” He’s smiling again, cheeks still pink. He then straightens himself up, feet planted firmly on the ground and he seems more confident than Akaashi initially perceived him. “My name is Bokuto Koutaro. If it is fine with you, I would like to know your name, please."

Bokuto doesn't know what he's doing. It's his gut telling him something, that this person is someone he shouldn't let go of so easily. Something is drawing him to this guy and Bokuto isn't sure what it is.

"No."

"Eh?" Bokuto trips over nothing.

"You asked if I was fine with it, and I said no."

"Oh. I'm sorry I asked." Bokuto scratches his head, at a loss for words.

Akaashi watches a puzzled Bokuto mumble to the ground and his intentions of leaving in an instant are delayed. "You don't want to know my name."

Bokuto eyes him curiously over his statement and Akaashi sighs, knowing that exact look. "It's better if you don't know who I am."

Now this catches Bokuto's ears. "Why?"

Akaashi shakes his head. He starts to walk back the path he came from before speaking again. "You still ask when I told you no. Maybe if we see each other again a second time, I'll tell you." Akaashi waves a hand over his head. "That's when you know it's fate."  
  
  
  
-*-

  
  


Luckily, Bokuto doesn't follow Akaashi and he leaves peacefully. If he were to be followed, who knows what Akaashi would have done in this paradise...

It doesn't linger much longer on his mind when he reaches the first frozen yogurt shop after he's out of the park. It's pastel and fluffy looking and Akaashi is out to try out some flavors he's hoping to cater to his picky taste buds.

"Akaashi Keiji." Akaashi glances over his shoulder and there stands another nicely dressed man holding a clipboard. Compared to Oikawa, this man has a more stern look with thicker eyebrows and narrowed eyes. "My name is Iwaizumi Hajime. I'm Oikawa's assistant and this neighborhoods intelligence personal guide. I have infinite knowledge of the universe and am here to provide residents with anything they desire and to inform you of any detail that happens here in The Good Place. Now if you may follow me, I will now show you to your new home."

Akaashi follows suit and they arrive at a large, grassy field filled with various designs of houses. Mansions, castles, cottages, and peculiar, abstract-shaped homes Akaashi couldn't understand how gravity would have held that up. It's nice, but he can care less. He's ready to face what kind of home he's ready to live in all eternity.

Akaashi and Iwaizumi stop in front a small, tiny house. A white walled, minimalistic square house. It's way too small. In Akaashi's eyes, it was almost like a giant Rubik cube was made and a piece of the white block was picked off and placed right here on Akaashi's designated lawn.

They walk inside and to no surprise, the inside is just as plain, white, and bland as it is on the outside.

"As you can see, this home was designed to your liking, interior to exterior. Furnished with the bare minimum and in a color scheme not too blinding, in an eggshell white and midnight blue." Iwaizumi scans the surroundings and checks off points in his clipboard. "If you need any other arrangements made to help you live comfortably in your dream home, You can always call out my name and I will assist you."

Three knocks come from the front of the door and peeps in Oikawa, cheeky grin looking over at Akaashi. "I'm here!"

"Did you bring-?"

"Of course! Iwa-chan, what do you take me for? I run this entire place." Oikawa swings the door wide open and walks in first, followed by another person behind him. The person behind him looks around and Akaashi squints at the familiar figure.

"Bokuto?" The gray haired man has a sweet smile on his face when he hears Akaashi say his name out loud. 

"In this world, you meet your destined soulmate and Bokuto Koutaro is yours, Akaashi Keiji." Iwaizumi explains.

Bokuto walks up to Akaashi, obviously nervous, but not as fidgety as when he met him only moments ago. Bokuto stares in right into Akaashi's eyes and he see's a hopeful glint that makes Akaashi feel light for a second.

"And here I thought I fell in love with someone else, literally." Bokuto laughs recalling the earlier introduction. "But I fell for my soulmate all along and now I'm way too happy."

Akaashi likes the way Bokuto is smiling, it's reassuring and it's a feeling Akaashi's not really used too.

"Before I leave you two be, " Iwaizumi interjects, "I'd like to show you the video system."

Iwaizumi walks over to an empty, blank wall and touches the center, lighting up a large, holographic tv with various pictures and files. "You can review everything that happened in your life from your point of view." Iwaizumi clicks on a photo that pops up and Akaashi raises a brow. "Here is the charity benefit auction you organized for the hungry children foundation."

"This one made me tear up," Oikawa whispers silently to no one in particular. "such a dignified, pure soul you are." Oikawa wipes away the fake tears and pats his jacket. "Now If you'll excuse us, we have more people to attend to." Iwaizumi tows behind Oikawa and leave Akaashi and Bokuto alone in the house.

Bokuto is beaming at Akaashi. The radiance he's giving off is a little too much for him that he has to sit down. Bokuto sits beside on the couch and observes Akaashi carefully.

"Anyway, I've heard of your work pertaining mostly to children, something I'm very involved with also, being a kindergarten teacher when I was still alive. It's amazing and I would love to hear more of your work or what kind of interest and hobbies you have." Bokuto waits for a response, but he grows concerned at the over pondering Akaashi. No matter how cool and impassive Akaashi may have looked, Bokuto can tell something was bothering Akaashi, even if he barely knew him. Instincts were telling him.

"I know it's weird to find your soulmate so suddenly, but it's ok. We can take our time, get to know each other, it'll be fine." Bokuto says by reassuring him. "Whatever happens, I'll be here. I'll always be here. I'll never betray you in any way, shape, or form. Trust me."

Akaashi fiddles with his fingers and catches a glimpse over at Bokuto who sits uncharacteristically calm, almost too calm, but Akaashi thinks this is a good thing. Something he thinks he can take advantage of.

"You'll never betray me, ever?" Akaashi asks.

"Never."

"Say it, you promise you'll never betray me for any reason, whatsoever."

"Akaashi Keiji," Bokuto takes Akaashi's hands in his and looks into his eyes deeply. "I swear I will never say or do anything that will cause you any harm."

"Good." Akaashi's hand slips out of Bokuto's grasp and points at the holographic tv, still displaying the charity organization pictures. "Those aren't my memories, I was never involved with anything that has to do with children, I don't even know the first step to organize a charity, I hate this shit house, it makes me sick cause it's so fucking tiny," Akaashi pauses. "There's been a big mistake. I'm not supposed to be here."

"Huh?" Bokuto is confused, for the third time today by the same person.

"I shouldn't be here, in The Good Place."


	2. guilty

“Are you sure this isn’t you?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I know myself.” Akaashi stands up from his seat, walking over to the holographic tv and swiping at pictures left to right, eyeing particularly at an image that looked like a business stock image . “I was never a kid-loving, charitable, humanitarian devoting their life for the greater good. I mean look at this picture, are these people having fun? Working? Working for fun?” Akaashi clicks his tongue. “Freaks.”

Bokuto sits in thought. “So you’re not Akaashi Keiji?”

“Oh no, I’m Akaashi Keiji. They got my name right, but they have all the facts wrong.” He keeps swiping at all the pictures, amused at the gallery of incredulous sights. Is that… an image of Disney World? God, Akaashi has always wanted to go to Disney World. This rich, son of a bitch got some nerve making him jealous, even in the afterlife.

“This is… ridiculous.” Bokuto buries his face in his hands. “What’s going to happen to…”

Akaashi turns around and waltz back over to the apprehensive Bokuto. He places a hand on the mopping man’s shoulder, in some way trying to comfort him, “It’s ok, Bokuto.” Hope stirs a little in Bokuto. “I’m going to be ok. You, well, just have to deal with the anxiety forever.” And his hope dies.

He shakes his head. “I actually thought I finally met my soulmate.”

“Hey, hey. What happened to your ‘I thought I fell in love with someone else, but it was actually my soulmate’ crap? Hah! Admit it, Owl boy. You thought I was hot shit before you knew what I’m truly like.”

“Owl boy?!”

Akaashi sits back down next to Bokuto. “You say the cheesiest, fucking shit. Your head is way up your ass if you think I’d fall for such bullshit.” Bokuto flinches at the harsh words. “Nice try, bitch. I’m an exclusive and sacred prize you have to work your way up too.”

“There! I think that’s a sign you’re not from here!” Bokuto exclaims.

“What?” Akaashi asks dryly.

“Profanity is prohibited here. I can’t say ‘fork’ here because it gets censored verbally and it translates into ‘fork’ instead. Maybe those like me who truly belong in the Good Place is effected.”

“Fork? Who says fork? Are you trying to say fuck?” Akaashi cackles in his seat, hand covering his mouth. “How cute, even the way you curse screams pure and innocent.”

“It’s not, and if you ever curse like that around here, people are going to know.” Bokuto warms him.

“Going to know what, that I’m a ‘heathen child in heaven.’” Akaashi mocks. ”I think not. Bring it on bitch, I’ll fight them.”

Bokuto stands up suddenly. “That’s it.”

“Am I really going to fight someone?” Akaashi whines and lays his head down, arm stretch and legs propped up. “Can I take a nap first or something. I’ve dealt with a lot of things today and I think I deserve a break.”

“No, I have to let him know.” Bokuto mumbles to himself. “I have to let Oikawa know that you’re… not supposed to be here.” 

Bokuto is turning away, about to leave, but Akaashi can sense the danger in store for him if he is discovered. Breaking the law is one thing on earth, when you’re alive and jail time or paying the fine is the penalty for any sort of misconduct. If Bokuto says even a single word about the the current predicament he’s built himself here, who knows what kind of divine punishment they’ll have him in for eternity. Because he’s literally lying to everyone. In heaven. It actually kind of sounds badass when he keeps thinking about it. But right not is not the time to think about such thoughts.

“Wait, hold on a second-” Akaashi quickly grabs the pacing mans arm and pulls him back slightly, but Bokuto doesn’t resist as much as he expected.

“Iwaizumi.” Bokuto says aloud and Iwaizumi appears instantly right by his side. Akaashi flinches back at the mere sight of him popping up out of nowhere and he swears he would have punched him if he wasn’t to preoccupied in holding back Bokuto. “There’s been a-”

Akaashi practically jumps onto Bokuto’s back and slaps a hand over his mouth, preventing him from speaking any further as a shocked, choking Bokuto struggles with a muffled mouth.

“Nevermind, go away, Iwaizumi. Bokuto was kidding. So just, you know, leave.” Akaashi says cooly. Iwaizumi stares between the calm and expressionless Akaashi and to an obviously disheveled, riled up Bokuto who looks likes he’s begging for help. Something is up, but Iwaizumi doesn’t say anything. He assumes this is some sort of way of communicating their love and disappears in a blink of the eye. It’s like he was never here.

Akaashi let's go and glares at Bokuto. “What the fuck.”

“What do you mean, ‘what the fork?’ You said it yourself, you shouldn’t be here!”

“I know I said that, but holy shit, this place is amazing.” Akaashi looks around. “I mean, not my house. I hate my house. I should have be living in that five story mansion down the block instead of this igloo of a box.” Akaashi turns back to Bokuto. “But you can’t tell them I’m not who they think I am. At least not right now.”

“And why should I listen to you?” Bokuto asks.

“Even if they don’t have the right story of my life, they still got my name right and that just means someone living here has mine, don’t you think.”

“Sounds far-fetched.”

“Ok, no one cares about your opinion.” 

“Ok,” Bokuto says, already familiar with Akaashi’s snarky remarks. “But why did you tell me? You could have kept this a secret from me until, you know, you figured everything out yourself.”

“I’m supposed to be your soulmate, that’s not an easy thing to pull off in front of someone as lovesick as you. You’re going to have a lot of expectations and I don’t think I can keep up with that, you desperate son of a bitch.”

“Hey-!”

“But whatever, you already know now.” Akaashi sits down as he contemplates his options. “So, how can I keep you to stay quiet. Money? No, that’s worthless here. Oh! Do you want me to suck your dick cause I’m really good at sucking dick.”

“Akaashi!”

“Do you think we still have to use a condom in heaven? Because if you wanna just ram your-” Akaashi looks up. “Why are you red? Are you embarrassed? This isn’t the time to be-.”

Suddenly, an intercom speaker rings Oikawa’s voice out loud in Akaashi’s house. “Residents of The Good Place, in 10 minutes, we will be having an orientation to welcome our new inhabitants that have just arrived. A million questions must be racing through your head and I’ll be there to guide you through what The Good Place is. So 10 minutes, at the town square. Be there, or be there!”

“How the hell did he do that.” Akaashi mumbles to himself as he looks around the room for the hidden speaker in his room. “What kind Jesus magic is he doing to me?”

“Let’s just go.” Bokuto says, grabbing Akaashi’s wrist and pulling him out the house. “Maybe we can ask Oikawa what’s up with your memories at this orientation.”

“Hey, who said you can touch me.”

 

-*-

 

“Hello, everyone. And welcome to your first day in the afterlife!” Oikawa announces as he stands on a stage in front of a large white screen at the town center that is surrounded by many chairs filled with other new residents. Akaashi and Bokuto sits towards the back and watch as Oikawa delivers his welcoming speech. He’s only said one sentence and Akaashi is already starting to drift off.

“Are you really falling asleep right now?!” Bokuto whispers. “Hey! Stay awake!”

“Don’t wanna…”

“To simply put it, you are all good people. But, how do we know you’re good people. How are we sure?” Oikawa explains and the screen behind him starts projecting numbers and phrases from “helped an old woman across the street” to “helped build schools in a third world country.”

“During your time on earth, every one of your actions had a positive and negative value depending on how good or bad your action was put in the universe. Every sandwich you ate, every magazine you bought, every single action you did had an effect that rippled over time and ultimately created some amount of good or bad. You think every time you drive in the carpool lane by yourself and think ‘ah, no one’s watching’. We we’re watching. Surprise.” People laugh and Akaashi eyes roll at the joke. 

“Anyway, when your time on earth has ended, we calculated the total value of your life by using our perfectly accurate measuring system. Only the people with the highest score, the true cream of the crop, come here, the Good Place. Those that don’t make it, don’t worry about it. The point is, you are here because you lived one of the very best lives that could be lived. And you won’t be alone. Your true soulmate is here. Yes, soul mates are true. Some of you have met them already and you will spend eternity together. So welcome to eternal happiness. Welcome to the Good Place.” Everyone starts clapping and cheering as Oikawa bows to conclude his speech of the day. Some start leaving, some stay, some go up to chat with Oikawa and Bokuto thinks maybe he should do that too.

“Owl boy, stop what you’re about to do right now.” Akaashi glares at Bokuto from his seat next to him. “You’re about to rat me out after that beautifully, delivered speech about embracing the eternal life.”

“You were literally seconds away from sleeping through it.”

“And I didn’t.”

“Because you kept making rude remarks about Oikawa in your seat.”

“Well, I couldn’t sleep. He was talking too loud and you kept nudging me awake so I’m also going to talk shit behind your back too.” Akaashi crosses his arms and slouches forward, face turning away from Bokuto.

Bokuto rubs his face with his hands and buries them in it. He’s dealt with a lot of people and this world. Now that he’s dead and in heaven, he figured that he would be able to live a more care and stress-free life in his eternal days here. But here he is, being harassed by his so called “soulmate” over his need to sleep than listen to the highest, holy figure in this heaven.

“Are you still.. mad?” Bokuto ask.

Akaashi, still slouched, shakes his head. “No. Now I’m just hungry.” 

“Then let's get something to eat.”

“I want Mcdonalds. I want to drown myself in chicken nuggets and french fries. You know, so I know I’m living the dream.”

Bokuto wants to say something, but he keeps his mouth shut. He stands up. “Ok, let’s go find a Mcdonalds.”

“Wow, maybe you truly are my soulmate.” Akaashi fans himself. “You know how to make a man swoon with your suave words.”

Bokuto shakes his head and they start walking towards the towns central market. Although a good amount of people have dispersed and he’s sure no one is close enough to hear their little exchange, he feels something strange, like someone is watching him. He glances behind him real quick and see’s nothing so he just continues on his way with Akaashi. But as soon as Bokuto dismisses the feeling, someone peeks out from behind a tall shrub and stares intently at the two, especially at Akaashi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk even know what i'm doing anymore.


End file.
